I was there. But you weren’t.

Life can be so unfair sometimes! I agree! Anyone to disagree? I bet no one. But you know what, that unfairness in life makes life more wonderful and exciting. Hardships, struggles, trials, and all, I’ve been there. All of us have been there. Saying goodbye isn’t the hardest part, it’s the memories you keep in your heart, the feelings you give in the relationship, the time you spent in your whole life, and yet your heart has been torn apart.

I feel heartbroken. I admit I’m sad. This is the saddest point in by life. You know what, I gave my all when I was at my best, I was there. I was there, and you weren’t. I know someday, at new point in my life, I will be thankful that this happened. I will be grateful for everything. New experiences can be tough and annoying sometimes, but can be also a lesson! And this serves a great lesson for me. Someday, I hope, I’ll understand why it didn’t work. This begins a new chapter in my life. 

Job well done.

I would like to write something differently tonight. I have headaches since this morning and I can feel the tingling sensation on my fingers right now while I’m typing. Trying to compose everything in my head in this simple message I would like to say. I would like to share to you what I did this day. It’s just a common day for me, I ran my errands this morning. Cleaned my room, did the dishes, do the laundry. This afternoon I went to see my doctor to have my weekly check up. You see, it’s Monday today. I get to see her every Monday, to check everything if all is well regarding my health. I’m suffering from this low blood sugar level. I’m anaemic, my blood platelets are low, that’s why I should often see my doctor. Everything went well, she gave me medicines, vitamins and supplements. 

My mom and I went home, and we’re glad that we got home safely. My sister talked about her day, she passed her tests and she shared about what they did today at school. I can say that everything went well today. This is a good start for this week. My two fingers crossed that this week will be fruitful for our family. So this is it, have a happy week from our small family to yours.

Good night, everyone. 

The better you.

I don’t know how to begin with this writing. There are so many things I wanna say, but I don’t know how to put this in a beautiful way, so you might have an interest to read it. You know what, I’m starting to think about the way people thinks, like how they are thinking, taking in and dealing with their problems. But at the end, I find a common denominator for each and every one of us. We’re all humans.

I can say that in my own experience, sometimes we tend to think differently, people are like puzzles. We’re all dealing with our scattered pieces in life, trying to solve the big picture. Everyone will always find that a piece or two are always missing and we still keep on creating it, but we sometimes end up seeing a piece or two has the wrong fit. Let me give you an example, in your entire whole life, when you fall in love. What makes you missed that person? Is it his smell that still lingers to your mind? Is it the warmth of his hand you keep on remembering? Is it the kisses you have made when you were still together?

Let me give you one fact. When you did everything to make it work, like just creating that big puzzle in your whole life. You did your very best, up to the tiniest part, and still, you can’t figure it out. You can’t build that picture ever, I’ll tell you. I want to be straight to you, that you can’t fit on everyone’s puzzles. They have their own life, and you have yours.

You might think, that every day that pass when you are with him or her is magical, wonderful and splendid. You’ll always find a resemblance in every thing that you will do, something nostalgic. Given are the smell of him/her, warmth of their hands that warms up to yours, it will always feel like you’re holding the rays of summer sun. You’ll always remember the heat when you are with him or her. You also might think that time when you are with him or her that every moment is a fairytale that has a happy ending at the end. What makes you remember all of these is the romantic feeling you get, or the connection you two have got. The awkward silence becomes a beautiful melancholy.

But I should tell you this, not to hurt you or something. But I still insist to say this to you straightly. When the strong feeling of need for each other is gone, you tend to be incomplete. At first, you’ll miss the person. Eventually, you’ll only miss the feelings you’ve had while being with that person. You thirst for something that he or she used to give you, or things you used to have when you’re still into each other. He or she used to fit as one of your puzzle piece, then somehow outgrown the space you had for him or her.

Let me remind you, that you are not just a puzzle piece. You are a person with feelings, a dynamic character that could shift to the shape which would fit the one you like perfectly. You just can’t fill the gaps of a broken heart with the same things that they’ve done before. You have to be better. Better than before and far more refreshing than the past.

To win a place in someone’s heart is never a race. Never ever think about it as a game you should win. You should be equipped with the right tools and the right motivation to mend you’re broken heart. You must prove yourself worthy of all the best things in life. Create your own comedy story. Be a significance to other people that surrounds you. If you ever need to make someone happy, so be it, be with them, stay for them, and hear their stories. Be a good citizen. And be a good example to others. And the best of all, make someone miss you when you’re gone.

Done. I gain a lot of insights on this writing of mine. I know it could help you too a lot. So for now, this should be enough.

The fisherman.

Crab-Fisherman-MG-8976

I realized that timing is everything. You need time to heal your broken hearts. Time to prepare yourself for another circumstances. Time to let go and start a new chapter. Let me tell you a story, there’s a fisherman in the middle of the sea, waiting for the fish to come to his bait. But then, storm came. The fisherman didn’t know what to do. His boat soon was filled with sea water and turned upside down. He was in the middle of the sea beginning to drown. He prayed until one boat came and the man in it said, “I’ll help you, just grab my arm, I will pull you up”. But the fisherman hesitated. He said “no, God will rescue me, I’ll be waiting”. Then the man left. A second boat came, and tried to help the fisherman, same thing happened, he refused, and didn’t accept the help of the man. Then the third boat came and the man was willing to help the fisherman, but he didn’t accept it. He said God will rescue me. And the man left with his boat. Wanna know what happened next, nothing came after that. And the fisherman drowned. The lesson of the story is, God is giving us the chance to see his blessing, He gives us opportunities, but sometimes we’re so blind to see it. The fisherman had three chances, but he did not see it. He refused.

Let’s all be thankful for our blessings. When a door opens, let’s give it a shot. If we fail, just keep on trying. The best is yet to come.

Good night people.

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Hey, whoever you are. I want to know you. I want to talk to you. So please follow my blog. I’m not a good writer but I do still write. Laughs. I have posts I wanna share with you guys. It’s kinda interesting also. You might wanna read it. So please follow my blog. Thank you, dear.

Love lots, Abi

One day, I’m gonna be an Architect.

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I’m starting to think about my future. You know, I’m a graduate. I have a lot of things going through my mind right now. Oh, I am so damn excited of what will gonna happen soon. As you for you to understand, I’m enrolling again as a student. Yay! I’m now going to be a college student again! I’ve graduated already my college degree. I’m now a registered nurse, thanks to God. All the hardships paid off. I’m just too happy, that I’ve passed my board examination, and now I got my license as a nurse.

But there are things I wanna tell you more, I decided to pursue my dreams, my real dreams in life. I am studying again, too bad I’m getting older, and yet I have to study again. I’m gonna be taking my college entrance examination next week at La Salle College of Saint Benilde (CSB). Hopefully, I’ll pass and enroll for the first semester. By the way, I just want you to know, I’ll be taking Bachelor of Science in Architecture. I’ve always wanted to be an architect. Always. That’s my dream ever in my entire whole life. I love drawing, I do always appreciate building and houses, like how they are built, I admire the engineers and architects who made it stand like that. I’ve always dreamed about it. That one day, I’m gonna be an awesome architect. 

Still there are some hindrances you might wanna know. Like other people are saying I’ve wasted five years of my life, that I should pursue being a nurse, that I should’ve taken a job according to my course, because they believe I’m blessed to pass the examination and yet they think I’m not appreciating this kind of blessing. Well, that’s not true, any of it is not true. I feel blessed to be a registered nurse. But what they don’t understand is just I wanna follow my dreams. I don’t want to have “what ifs” one day. That what if I’ve taken another try. I just don’t want to regret some things in my life in the future, that’s why I’m taking this opportunity. I want it to be done. Because I know, I can make it. God will help me, guide me. I know He’s always there for me. I know I can make it with God’s grace.

P.S. I just can’t get over it. I really wanted to be an architect someday. Two fingers crossed. I’m not going to be a student again. Lucky me. Smiles.

I have no title for this.

I’m just imagining. What is with these emotions that keeps chasing our lives? Aren’t they tired of running after us? There are thoughts in my head, and I must say, they are plenty. Plenty enough, that I wish I could voice all out. Shout to the world all my feelings. It’s a relief you know, composing yourself, and writing what’s on your mind. It’s just like a reassurance. I can say now, that I’m starting to love writing. I feel it’s like giving me freedom. I sometimes felt like I was a prisoner, but now I’m really glad. I feel like a writer sometimes. Laughs. Oh how I wish I’d be so good at writing. One day, we’ll never know. I might be a writer. Smiles. But no, I just love it. I’m not wishing to be one. Just voicing out everything in my head is enough for me.

P.S. Sometimes I wonder, I wish I could just be a tree. They are tough you know. They stand still, letting the air pass through them, absorbing what will come after them. Sigh. I wish I could be like them.